Saturday, December 31, 2005
早已冷却的吻藏在心中加温
爱情充满残忍我却太认真
爱一层层被撕裂
我一层层被摧毁被爱摧毁
我来不及找到出口
我一层层被摧毁
狠不下心向黑夜说再见
说再见
早已冷却的吻藏在心中加温
爱情充满残忍我却太认真
爱一层层被撕裂
我一层层被摧毁被爱摧毁
我来不及找到出口
我一层层被摧毁
狠不下心向黑夜说再见
说再见
Friday, December 30, 2005
the nights are cold without you around
my hands are cold without yours in mine
you left me cold when you walk out on me
the only one that can warm my heart is you
Thursday, December 29, 2005
How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace,
When I'm standing taking every breath,
With you, ooohhh,
You're the only one who really knew me,
At all.
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave,
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears,
You're the only one who really knew me at all.
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face,
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
If you're coming back to me it's against all odds,
And that's what I've got to face.
I wish I could just make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry,
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why,
You're the only one who really knew me at all.
So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
There's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face,
So take a look at me now,
So there's just an empty space,
But to wait for you is all I can do,
When that's what I've got to face.
Take a good look at me now,
Cause I'll be standing here,
And you coming back to me is against all odds,
And that's the chance I've got to take.
Got to take
Got to take
Ooh
Take a look at me now
Take a look at me now.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
If i had know that was the last night we would be together
i would ask to hold u tight one last time
keep u in my arms til dawn, the time we gonna part
i wouldnt let go until the last moment
If only i could see it coming..IF ONLY..
i was blinded all this while, to think that u r happy
now all i have left is regrets, a bag full of regrets
regret that things had turn out this way
regret for all the things i ever done to hurt you
regret not cherishing every moment of u and me
a heart full of regrets
i yearn so much just to hold u again
i pray, i hope, i wish, i beg
nobody's listening, u turn a deaf ear and blind eye on me
the tears welled up in my heart
im drowning in my self pity
all i can do now, is try to pick myself up
pieces by pieces, the pieces of u and me im still holding on to
im praying for another miracle, im hoping for another chance
u know, i miss u so much but i couldnt let u know
now i tell u
I MISS YOU PRINZESS
i wonder if our pictures still on the wall
if you still remember me
i dream of this every night
i find myself sitting in this familiar place
walking ard like i had live there all my life
everything feel so real to me
i didnt felt like i was in a dream
i was happy, happy in my dream
i was happy to be there
the familiar faces i see
uncle, auntie, kor, jie, husky & coco
dont try to wake me up
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live with out you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
gina, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
gina, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.
I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
gina, give me back...
Friday, December 23, 2005
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
Before i met u, climbing and soccer was the only things that kept me occupied. its the only things i know i can do. then i met u and u show me a new world, a world where i was happy. i thought i had found someone to share my dreams and life with. i adjust my life to fit yours, everything was perfect. it was like a fairy tale, i never feel so contented in my life.
although we are 2 different character, somehow the pieces came together for us. u let me see the world in a different light from a different point of view. i was truly happy and u gave that to me, i swear i wasnt gonna let it go. we have come thru up and down together and i thought we would, like everytime.
call me naive but now i have lose u. we living our own life now, something i couldnt imagine myself doing. now i just living in my nightmare. wake me up will ya. i miss you so so so so much.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Sahajaku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
Ku yakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini
Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri
There's no one to call or msg anymore.
Really nothing worth looking forward to at the end of the day.
No hand to hold close to your heart and no one to hold on to at nite.
No one to share the dreams and life with.
Like a flower without the sun withering away.
I can only wish to have you back.
I miss you so much, you couldnt imagine.
I came close a few time, almost losing you.
Now i did.
Felt like a part of me is missing.
Its killing me.
I only wish to have you back.
Yeah, thats my wish this xmas and new year.
Santa do take note.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Can you help me ease the pain
Can I hold you once again
You know that they often say that love is blind
My heart can't see
The reason why you left that love behind is hurting me
Is there a chance that we can be again
Hold my head up wipe the tears
I'm not crying for you no more
So don't go away Again
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
Saturday, December 17, 2005
this is so painful, i dont know how long i can endure this anymore. the medication dont seems to be working anymore. this pain is killing me. we used to do everything as one, we were inseparable and now i feel like i lost a piece of myself. u took it away the day u walk out of my life.
gone were the days we spend our weekends together. we see each other everyday of the week, not one day passed without u by my side and now i have to carry on living without u. the feeling of the empty space beside me whn i sleep and learning to do things on my own again. this is killing me. yes, u may said i was living fine b4 i have u but all this have now changed, cant u see!! not everythin is as naive as what u believe.
how much the past 6 mths means to me, no one will ever understand. this ache & emptiness in my heart, im not sure when this gona heal but u left a scar behind, to remind me of u. how can i ever forget the most happiest time of my life, i wish i could then mayb i wont feel the pain anymore. 啊 给我一杯忘情水
my days without u hasnt been as easy u tink it is, mayb it makes u feel better thinkin tat it is. i need a break from the world. i want a break from this world. i jus feel like stayin in this bottomless pit until i heal myself. i wanna be strong but i can only wish im. cant carry on this anymore, jus wish i can hold u one last time, stroke ur hair, gaze into ur eyes and tell u one last time how much i love u.
end my misery...............please....
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Like the fairy tale it has been the past 6 months, i was hoping this wld end in a happily ever after ending but call me naive. yes, everything is over now and as much as i hope to, theres nothing i can do anymre to salvage this fairy tale. mayb if we could, we can erase all the wrong doings but nothing is perfect and this time, we cant have it like how we always come thru the problems. guess u had enough.
tears still flow knowing that what once was so beautiful & sweet is over now. guess i'll be fine, as time eat away the pain from within. im gona miss the time waking up beside u, brushing our teeth together, having someone to hold at night. i will miss ur company, everything we shared and the love u gave me. its hard letting go...but guess i will still be fine, but not so soon i guess.
well thank you prinzess for all the wonderful memories u written in my life. i will nv forget all of these. hope u r living fine and all(i know you are) but guess i will still be in miserable ville in awhile before i head on to everything be fine street. jus wan u to know prinzess, somehow this ogre is still missing & loving u. i will grab the chance to write another fairy tale with u, next time i will hold on to u forever.
goodbye and goodnight for good.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴 安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份 包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多 我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
如果你不曾心碎
你不会懂得我伤悲
当我眼中有泪别问我是为谁
就让我忘了这一切
啊 给我一杯忘情水
换我一夜不流泪
所有真心真意任它雨打风吹
付出的爱收不回
The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before
and like the withering flower, its finally dead and over. its time has come.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night
Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me
I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away
I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else
I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know
Friday, December 09, 2005
We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
'Cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed
2-Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change
1-Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it, baby
Now..Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies
Deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
'Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other?
Why do we push love away?
(repeat 1, 2, 1)
seen the psychiatrist today, felt so much better after i pour my heart out and the medications does help me to relax a great lot, just hoping everything will get resolve really soon. any longer im gona crumble into pieces. cure my heart but it cause a big hole in the pocket. yes it cost abt 223 bucks for a less then an hr session with the doc. anymore session and i will end up beggin at the roadside.
its has been 6th months now, but this 2 weeks has been like a storm. i just hope the dark clouds gona clear really soon. if everythin turn out well, this experience jus make me want to cherish it even more and if the worse happen, im nt sure what will happen to me. i cant imagine that, probably feels something like the end of my world.
the bedside is cold without u
my hands empty without yours
and my hearts hollow missing you
come back soon, come back soon
Thursday, December 08, 2005
i saw u in my sleep last nite again
guess it must be driving me nuts for this to happen
this the second time i saw u in my dreams
it felt so real, i almost thought u were really here by my side
the complicated human brain and the cruel of reality
it feels dreadful to wake up with this empty feeling
yes i have been feeling empty this past week
u can never imagine how hollow i feels inside
a empty shell, like the coke can drained of its content
then left abandon in the tiny green bin
i long for the soothing voice that puts me to sleep
the touch that held me tight, making me feel wanted
the warmth of the body u produce, keeps me cozy all night
the very feeling of love u gave me
the happiness we shared
the laughter among us
where did it go
every inch of me yearns for u
will you be back soon
that familiar face that i see everyday
now i only see u at the back of my head
the longing & desire to dial the keypad & press that send
i resist & fight, the inner struggle that follow
what is the right thing to do?
what am i suppose to do?
in the end, i let go the lifeless device of communication
u won this round
there i lay on the ground, wondering
i have forgotten how it feel to be hold by u
given another chance i wouldnt let go
the entanglement of two lovers limb
the embrace
the attachment
we feel like one entity
now im jus the egg without the yolk
plain and boring, less nurition
looking into the cloudless dark beyond
i ask the universe a million questions
everything that pop up in my head
the million questions that begs the one answer
have i lost you to the galaxy
felt as though a black hole has come thru and rip u from me
what once was one has become half
in the end, only time will tell
only u would know
whn i can come back to life
just like the weed that raise every spring after winter
im missing your presence
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
have u been blind, deaf & dumb?
all the while i was screaming for u, u were no where
just like im no one to u
have u had a hint of imagination of the pain u r causing me
cant u see what u r doing to me?
all the little hope that u gave me
it all burst in my face and like a silly fool holding on to it
i fell, fell from the sky everytime
does something have to happen then u will take note?
now can u see what u r doing to me?
now that u know what i been goin thru this week
tell me yours?
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Its undeniable...that we should be together...
Its unbelievable how I used to say that i'd fall never
The basis is need to know, if you don't know just how I feel,
Then let me show you now that I'm for real...
If all things in time, time will reveal...
Yeah...
One...your like a dream come true...
Two... jus wanna be with you...
Three... girl its plain to see...that your the only one for me...
Four...repeat steps one through three...
Five... make you fall in love with me...
If ever I believe my work is done....then I start Back at One.(yeah)
So Incrediable...the way things work themselves out...
And all emotional, once you know that its all about babe...
And undesirable...for us to be apart...
Never would of made it very far...
Cause you know that you got the keys to my heart
Cause...
One...your like a dream come true
Two... jus wanna be with you
Three... girl its plain to see..that your the only one for me
Four...repeat steps one through three
Five... make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done....then I start Back at One......
Say farewell to the dark night...I see the coming of the sun...
I feel like a little child..whose life has jus begun...
You came and breathed new life
Into this lonely heart of mine...
You threw out the life line...just in the Nick of Tiimmmeeee.....
One...your like a dream come true
Two... jus wanna be with you
Three... girl its plain to see..that your the only one for me..girl and...
Four...repeat steps one through three
Five... make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done....then I start Back at One.
Monday, December 05, 2005
"i now realise that the things couple did together would always stay in their heart, they will never forget but what keeps two person together is not by what they can keep or what they cant forget but is with what they can forgive." from the movie "indecent proposal"
this past week has been the worse time of my life. everything is in a shamble. im in a emotional turmoil, i cant seem to set on mind on anything. every sec pass like a single hr. every tick of the clock, takes a piece of me away. i cant do anything right, cant even think straight. i jus wish the bad times will be over soon. im feeling very weak, how long can i take this? only god knows.. really wanna end this pain.
2 more days til ur 20th birthday.
4 more days til our 6 anniversary.
life sucks.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again.
Spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace.
Smeared the lipstick on her face.
Slammed the door and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."
And she swears there's nothing wrong
I hear her playing that same old song
She puts me up and puts me on
And had a bad day again
She said I would not understand
She left a note it said, "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."
Y'know you're everything to me and I could never see
The two of us apart
And you know I give myself to you and no matter what you do
I promise you my heart
I've built my world around you and I want you to know
I need you like I've never needed anyone before
Chorus:
I live my life for you
I want to be by your side in everything that you do
And if there's only one thing you can believe is true
I live my life for you
I dedicate my life to you, you know that I would die for you
But our love would last forever
And I will always be with you and there is nothing we can't do
As long as we're together
I just can't live without you and I want you to know
I need you like I've never needed anyone before
Chorus
I live my life for you, prinzess
Thursday, December 01, 2005
yes the doctor has confirmed it, im a dying man. life is so meaningless, wish it be less painful & it will end faster except for all the farewell, i dont think i ever have any regrets. well one thing for sure NS is FUCK UP & whatever happen to u during NS gets even more FUCK UP.
cant wait for this shit to calm down, i jus hate my life fucking so much at the moment. wish everything wld be so much better.
im dieing of starvation, hadnt had a dose of love since 2 days ago. hope things will brighten up............................
dear life,
you suck!!!